The hard reality of having to go Fantasy Cold Turkey

So there I was Sunday afternoon just before halftime of the early games, and for the second weekend in a row I hadn’t even looked at my computer. It was a scary fucking feeling. I felt like I was a ship bouncing aimlessly on the waves.

For 16 Sundays prior, my schedule has been this: I wake up, immediately log onto yahoo, and then spend the next 14 hours going back and forth between the live stats update for my league, whatever games happened to be on TV, Pre-Game shows, Post game shows, and the NFL channel’s live scoreboard (they rotates stats for each game—if you haven’t gotten this yet, you really should). Sunday after Sunday, fantasy football consumed my day. I wouldn’t leave the house. I wouldn’t even leave the room unless a commercial was going on. It drove my poor wife freakin’ crazy, but all I thought, cared, obsessed about was football.

Now? I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t even check in on the guys at Yahoo to see what predictions they can offer. I don’t worry about missing a key injury up-date or some last minute waiver pick up or how the weather will affect play.

For the first time in months, I spent a leisurely Sunday morning with the wife watching whatever crap she wanted (CBS Sunday Morning for those of you keeping tabs). I don’t even think I touched the TV remote until after game time. And all the while I was consumed by boredom. You would think I would’ve looked forward to a nice quiet day: I had nothing but free time to watch the games and enjoy the playoffs. But no, I am jittery, edgy, and aggravated. I feel like crack head who can’t get his fix.

How in the hell do you watch a game without judging every pass, run, score, injury, and field goal with a agitated fantasy eye? Case in point, did anyone notice that Ron Dayne scored two fucking touchdowns last week. I wanted to kick the damn TV in. His no-show in Indy nearly cost me the championship. Oh, and did anyone notice Marvin Harrison hit the turf this weekend. I forgot he still played for Indy. Did he miss the entire fantasy season? Or even better, did anyone notice last Sunday that Philip Rivers now seems capable of throwing both completed passes and touchdowns. Where the hell was that during the season? Thanks for fucking nothing!